Sam Soundar Biweekly Newsletter #2, Nautical Edition

Original Text of Newsletter Email

From: Jacob Egner
Sent: Tuesday, April 22, 2014, 11:05 AM
To: Sam Soundar Biweekly Newsletter Distribution List, sponsored by Pepsi and Big Lasers Incorporated
Subject: Sam Soundar biweekly newsletter, 2014-04-22, nautical edition

Precious Subscribers:

Reliable sources report that Sam Soundar is in good health, with all mysterious rashes now gone.  There are no indications of haircuts or court appearances in the near future, but we will keep you posted.

Word of the day: ubiquitous
Meaning: seemingly being everywhere, especially at the same time

Example sentence 1: Steve seriously considered a restraining order against his ubiquitous stalker, Hillary Clinton.

Example sentence 2: Steve knew he would have to be extra careful with his level of alcohol consumption; chlamydia was ubiquitous on this Pacific island.

Remember to sign up for free SPLASH alerts, straight to your smart telephone!

--Jacob

Editor's Addendum

The emails distributing this newsletter originally claimed an authorship date of 2014-04-22, but actually the authorship date was 2014-05-07.  Jacob just wanted to send out a second biweekly newsletter and did not want to wait an entire biweek after the first one, so Jacob fabricated a newsletter from the previous biweek.  Therefore the self-reported order of Sam Soundar biweekly newsletters is not the actual chronological order.