Cherished Subscribers:
It’s been a very long biweek since the last biweekly
newsletter, approximately 1093 days. Mathematicians and astronomers are
still unsure when the next biweek will occur. Previous newsletters are
attached, free of charge.
Since the last newsletter, we’ve been very busy. For
instance, we used to only offer SPLASH alerts, straight to your smart telephone
(SPLASH = Sam’s Present Location Alert System Hotdog). We’re proud
to announce the Highly Salient Sam Soundar Sickliness Status System (HSSSSSS
for short) to keep you informed about the health of Sam Soundar as well.
HSSSSSS consumes a large amount of computing power, but gosh, it’s just
worth it.
For instance, RIGHT NOW, I’m logging into our advanced
HSSSSSS Super-Smart Server Swarm (HSSSSSSSSSS for short) and it says that
currently Sam is suffering from “Database Configuration Error, please consult
system administrator”. Sam, you have our prayers and best wishes.
Currently, HSSSSSS takes about twenty servers per
person. Once we get forty more servers, we’ll be able to analyze two more
people and create the Highly Salient SamSoundar SamanthaSunny SarahSlavens
Sickliness Status System Super-Smart Sixty Server Swarm (HSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS for
short). The future is now!
Word of the biweek: yolo
Meaning: an acronym standing for “you oughta look out”, an
expression showing a focus on prudence and caution; sometimes thought to derive
from “you only live once”, referencing that your life is a scarce, precious
resource, and must be vigilantly guarded.
Example sentence: Steve looked at his dear friends and said,
“Guys, maybe we’re not yoloing hard enough. Why not wear a helmet
whenever we ride the bus?”.
Your relentless newsletterer and member of the HSSSSSS
Society (HSSSSSSS for short),
Jacob
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