Treasured Subscribers:
The sacred year of 2017 is rapidly drawing to a close, and
all eyes are on Master Alchemist Sam Soundar to complete the Elixir of Power and
vanquish The Great Sleeping Horror before it awakens, but everyone can do their
part to help. If you see any of the following ingredients, please
inform Master Alchemist Sam Soundar with haste:
- Beetleberries
- Eggs of the Hungarian Murder Toad
- Hatefruit
- Seeds of the bile melon
- Bloodroot
- A sword that has slain a child
- A feather that has tickled a great man
DO NOT EAT THESE THINGS!
Word of the biweek: mawworm
Meaning: a mealymouthed sanctimonious
hypocrite
Example sentence: For several hours, Steve lectured his
congregation about the evils of flavor, but he was exposed as a mawworm
when a seam ripped and several bottles of vanilla extract and fennel seeds fell
out of his jacket.
Your inscrutable newsletterer,
Jacob
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